I woke up this morning to the sound of rain.
That sweet sound that echoes itself in the masses and reverberates.
It honestly hasn’t stopped raining since.
Steady, unrelenting, pulsating, quiet, gentle rain.
And oh yeah. My dogs have yet to pee. We’re on hour four of pee strike and going strong.
Dachshunds are like that. Rain is against their low lying bellied bodies peeing in wet grass.
And here I am, sitting on the porch, facing the lake, listening to the ramblings of crazy fishermen (who must be part fish) fishing.
It’s a very odd feeling to have a lot of pressure all over you and then suddenly have it released. All of it. All at once. And then you’re left with the space in which to sort the rest of yourself out.
Sale of house. Emptying out house. Selling furniture and nick nacks.
All while being single.
All while having two awesome friends who I couldn’t have done without.
Singleness is not for the feint of heart. Singleness comes with packages.
Me, myself, and I.
While it’s true my family is there for me, it’s not the same. It’s just not.
When you are single, the only person you can truly count on day in and day out is yourself.
Which is why it’s so important to have a newish car that won’t break down.
And being able to keep pressure from others out of your own decision making so you can discern for yourself what you want.
And my goodness.
It’s been a hell of a long time since I’ve had that opportunity.
Nobody in my face asking me to make a decision or if paperwork is ready or even asking what it is I want.
I’m so over it all.
All I want is the space to think through my own path and to be allowed to do so.
In the meantime, I will bloom where I am planted.
My classroom is about to be my project for the summer.
My body is about to do some self help inside and out.
My mind is going to develop its own sense of normal not navigated by others.
I just love summer. Even when it’s raining.